The guide on how not to be a noob. Yes, I'm serious. Shut up.
Hello. This guide will teach you what to do to end your noobness. Please remember this is somewhat a comedy as well as a guide, so shut up if you think it's retarded D=
Anyways, we will be covering everything from how to ask for buffs, to scams and even extreme use of emoticons. Not only will this help cure your retardity, you will also learn some valuable life lessons.
The enemies.
Here I will show you what to fight for your level.
When you start out, do NOT fight aibaitts until level 37. It doesn't work. I'm sorry if you're scared that a mushpang might eat your brains, but you need to get over it. Really.
Also, do not fight monsters 35+ levels higher than you and going "OMGZ I LYK ALMOTS PNWED IT OK I TRY AGANI OK" You won't pwn it. Not even close. 3 damage is not considered pwning. I'm sorry to dampen your noobish little spirit. Well, not really. It's pretty fun.
Don't go to the PK server and try to kill level 107's when you're level 26. You can't do it. No matter how hard your noobish self tries, you can't. You'll die. Get over it.
Bragging about being able to kill a lawolf with a lot of food and 6 RMs does not make you cool. Really. Your level 1 friends might think you're a God, but you're not. I'm sorry.
DO NOT KILL VIOLET MAGICIANS AT LEVEL 3 You can't do it. I do not care if they're right by the aibaitts, YOU
CAN'T KILL THEM.
The majority of you have no idea how to spell "majority". Let alone spell please.
I will attempt to help you. Well, pretty much make fun of you, but eh.
One of the biggest signs you are a noob is being illiterate. Walking up to someone and saying, "HI DO U WNAT 2 PT ME CUZ I HV NO PT PLS PT ME" ((Translation: "Hi, do you want to party me? Because I have to party. Please party me?")) makes you a noob. I don't care if you have 35 billion penya in your bank, you're a noob. Plain and simple.
If you type like this, I suggest you get immediate medical attention, along with a grammar class.
And if you read anything I said earlier about buffs, pretty much no assist will buff you if you walk up and say any of the following: "BUFF PLX" "BUF" "BUFF" "BUFF PLZ" "buff pls" "pls" "pls buff" "plsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssss sssss buff me"
Or anything else you can think of that isn't please.
I will now list for you some things that you should check before you type:
Your caps lock button is not stuck.
You have a brain.
You know how to spell.
u dnt typ lyk dis.
And you know the appropriate amount of emoticons to use.
The last thing I have for you to remember is, cussing at level 10 does not make you cool. It makes you a potty-mouthed noob. Only level 106+ can cuss successfully. xD ((kidding))
Meh. Moving on for now.
Has a very high-leveled person ever walked by you in Flaris?
I'm sure they have. And let me guess, you've asked a few of these?
"cen i joyn ur gild plx"
"money plx"
"cen i hav that sword"
"do u wana buy mi lv 6 sword im to good 4 it now"
Don't ask them. Really. No one wants you in their guild. Not even your mother. ((Oh yes, I went there.)) Make your own money. Get your own sword. And darnit, GET RID OF THAT CRAPPY HAND SAW THING.
And, perhaps you have been plvled by someone? Well, if you ever would like them to do it again, I suggest you don't message them every time the log in saying "plvl mi agen pls" and keep asking to party them until they block your face out of their lives. PLVLING IS SOMETHING THEY DO WHEN THEY WANT TO, not all the time. Level yourself noob D=.
The 2nd biggest sign you're a noob, next to literacy, is randomly calling high level people noobs. Calling a level 119 a noob does not hurt their feelings. It makes them laugh at you. A lot.
OH NO!! You've died.
Why don't we call that one assist that buffed you 3 months ago? Yeah! Good idea. NOT
An assist will not ressurrect you at PukePukes if you die while they're hardcore training in Darkon 3. Get over it. Lodelight/Lodestar and get revenge on your murderer.
That is a very common 'noob trouble', and it troubles the Assists even more. Please, no assist cares if a level 5 and a half dies from a rabid PukePuke. You get experience 45x faster than said assist, most likely. So try to get one of your vagrant friends to perform a sacred peasant resurrection ritual. And when that doesn't work, spawn somewhere.
Another common noob trouble is kill stealing. ((known as KSing)) This is when someone is AoEing a mob and some noob walks up and shoot down all of his enemies, making the guy lose exp, and most likely you'll see a lot of stars that night. *cough* So please, don't kill steal, it's retarded. I know you probably are too, if you're anything like the rest of the world, but that's okay. You can at least pretend not to be one. Remember: The most important rule of not being a noob is probably not being yourself.
The last noob trouble I will cover is scams. The most common is people selling star candies, claiming they're 14K ish for 99. They're not. They're 14K A STAR CANDY. Which is around 17 times more than they are at the food shop. Some incredibly poor people do this with arrows, some posters, VitalDrinks, whatever. Just make sure you check the price of things. Same with in trades. Count the zeros.
So, I figure I've mentioned some things you may encounter in-game.
But, I haven't explained what to do in all of them. Here I will take the time to do so.
All right. So, a blade/knight with a cool sword walks by. Looks cool, right?
WRONG THING TO DO:
You: *walking buy guy with cool sword* "LYK OMGZ CEN I PLZ HAV THT SWRD PLX"
Guy with cool sword: What the crap? D= FREAKING NOOB! *smacks you over the side of head with sword*
You: *dead* "plz"
RIGHT THING TO DO:
You: Woah! Nice sword =3 I can't wait to get cool equips like that.
Guy with cool sword: Heh, thanks! *pats head and gives you random crap*
You: Wow, thank you very much!
Woah, an RM just walked by. You oughta get some buffs.
WRONG FREAKING THING TO DO:
You: "BUF ME NAO"
RM: *stares at you, scared*
You: "PLIAIZZZ!!!! BUFF ME NOB"
RM: Uh..I don't buff people that aren't polite.
You: WTF ******** NUB **** I LYK *** BAN ******* YOU STUPID I AM GM ****** HAHA NUB****
RIGHT THING TO DO:
You: "Hey, *insert name of RM*, when you get the chance, could you please buff me, if you aren't too busy?"
RM: Sure! =D
You: *buffed* "Thank you! n.n"
Ah, sweet! Someone is selling something you want.
WRONG THING TO DO:
You: "GIVE ME NOW PPIAIZZZZLLZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11!!!1"
Guy selling stuff: "Ehm..."
You: "NAO NOB"
Guy selling stuff: "WHAT DID YOU SAY MOM!? YES I CAN COME MAKE DINNER!" *runs*
RIGHT THING TO DO:
You: Ah yay, you're selling *insert name of item*! =D Could I buy it, please?
Guy selling stuff: Sure =D
He gets penya, you get item of doom. Happy little noobs. =D
Oh, look! There's someone you'd like to FS. Let's go see if he wants to party?
WRONG THING TO DO:
You: "PT"
Guy: "o.o What?"
You: "PT ME NAO NOB OR MY FRIEND COME PK U"
Guy: "WHAT MOM!? YES, DINNER SOUNDS FINE AGAIN!! *runs*
RIGHT THING TO DO:
You: "Hey! *heals* You need an FS? =3
Guy: "Sure! Thanks =D *parties*"
You: "Great!"
More happy noobs.
Credits: Someone x.x(ugghhh,srry, i forgot the name, ima try remember it x.x)
hahaha
Anyway, Thanks for reading it, Nuuuubs~~~ xD
Subject: Guides on how not to be a noob :3 
Thu Feb 18, 2010 5:14 pm
